6.08.2013

The Fundamentals of Natural Game: Self-Amusement

This will be my first article in a series of Fundamentals articles. There are certain things that you learn and forget and re-learn over and over again. The importance of self-amusement has been one of those things for me. Right now I would consider this the absolute most important aspect of good game. Hopefully, after future-me forgets this, he'll look back at this article and start having fun again.


First, a Field Report from Last Night as an Example

Before going out, I gathered up a bunch of RSD videos about self-amusement and rewatched them to get some fun ideas fresh in my mind going out. I'll put the videos at the end of this post for reference.

When we first arrived the venue was pretty dead, but we decided to grab a drink and give the place a chance to fill up. I see a redhead in a little black dress walking in our direction and pull out the first retardedly funny self-amusement opener I can think of.

I step in front of her and yell, "BLACK DRESS! BLACK DRESS! YOU'RE WEARING A BLACK DRESS! You have a black dress on. Hi. I'm Michael."

At this point, she has a bewildered look on her face and I'm starting to crack up, she tells me her name then I went straight into another funny idea I had from the videos.

"Come meet my friend Sean," I say as I walk her over, then, "This is Sean. HE HAS AIDS!!!!"

Now I'm laughing too much to even hear what she says, so she repeats herself a couple times trying to get my attention back on her, "My friends and I are having a black dress party!!!"

I made some joke about her imaginary friends because they weren't around, then I told her to spin around so I could see the dress.

Then I told her to do it again, and when she turned halfway around, I said, "okay stop there," and just stared at her ass for a couple seconds. "Okay, now bend over," as I put my hand on her waste and gesture her forward. She complies and is now bent over sticking her ass out at me, so of course I give her a nice spanking.

Then I look at Sean with facial expression that says, "WTF, is this stupid shit really working!?!?!?"

She turns back around, I'm still cracking up, she like dances around me and ends up on the other side of me, and like 15-30 seconds later I make out with her, 2 feet in front of my wing, less than a minute after meeting her.

That was my first open of the night.

Glory.

We meet her friends, she drags me to the dance floor, we make out some more, more witty banter, yada yada yada. Sean and I finish our drinks so we leave the girls to go grab another round. When we get back, she's talking to some other guy.

I run up, say "this is how we take care of this," as I grab her around the waste, pick her up, and spin her away from the dude.

Then she starts yelling at me, "Dude, you totally cockblocked me, that guy looked like Adam Levigne!" as she jumps right back in to dancing with me.

"Oh, my bad, do you want me to go re-introduce you guys?" thinking, that would be so funny to actually do, I'm gonna do it even if she says no.

She starts to say, "No, that's okay," then I see the lights come on in her eyes and she's like, "wait... YEAH!" trying to call my bluff.

So I drag her back over to the guy and say, "Dude! She thinks you look like Adam Levigne! She wants it dude, she wants it." as I shove them real close together.

The guy gets flustered and goes, "what!? who's Adam Levigne!?"

"Booo, DISQUALIFIED! Sorry dude, you had your chance!" and I drag her back out to the dancefloor to resume dancing/making-out/neck-biting.

She ended up leaving to go to a rave later, I got her number and continued the night with more of the same. The end of night tally was 2 make outs and 3 numbers. One of the make-out/numbers was a pity make-out because a chubby girl wanted to make out with me and asked me to take her number. I figured what the hell, I'll go along with it to make her feel good.


Self-Amusement Should be your Top Priority

Seriously stop and ask yourself these questions:

If you're not having fun, how can you expect to have good game? If you're not enjoying yourself, why should anyone else?

Even if self amusement didn't help your game, wouldn't you want to work on it anyway? Who wouldn't want to have more fun in their lives?

Self-amusement isn't really a part of game. It's a precursor to game. It's like leaving the house. In order to do good game, you must leave the house. In order to do good game, you must enjoy yourself.

If you focus on game before you've started laughing, you're emotions are going to be easily affected by how the girl reacts to you. If it's negative reaction, it will be that much harder for you to start laughing and having a good time later.

Vice-versa, if you find a way to start laughing before you put any serious effort into game, then by the time you start trying to do game, you're already in a good mood, and if the girl negatively reacts to you, which is less likely to happen anyway, you're going to more easily laugh it off and even see it as more funny and enjoy yourself even more.


How I Forgot All About This

When I first started game, I lived far from the city, so I didn't expect to actually pull any girl home. I was going out just to "practice." I didn't believe I'd get any results yet and was okay with that.

What was important to me though, was that I had this sense that other people were more "social" than me. I thought other people enjoyed going out and being social more than I did. In my reality at the time, I was the only one who was socially awkward and uncomfortable, and everyone else was just naturally enjoying themselves because I thought being social was a natural trait that I was somehow born without.

I didn't really enjoy myself, and I envied that other people did enjoy themselves. So I realized up front, the only way I'm going to stay in the game long enough to get good at it, is if it's not a chore. I made it a priority that before I focused too much on my game skills, I would learn how to have fun like everyone else. I would go out with the goal to just have fun.

And of course I did still end up doing game on those "just have fun" nights, and I quickly realized that those nights were when my game was at its best.

But I was inconsistent. I didn't have a really solid idea of how to make myself have fun. I didn't have enough experience or references to know what is fun, what I can get away with, how to amuse myself.

Still, I got pretty damn good pretty damn fast. It was inconsistent, but when I was on, I was on, and I loved it.

Then my ego got in the way. I started identifying myself as being really really good at pick up. I was sooo proud of myself.

And then I started sliding backwards.

Somewhere along the line I forgot about fun. I wanted more consistency. I saw myself as an awesome pick up artist, so why was I still having bad nights? And why were the bad nights happening more and more often?

It got bad.

It got emo.

The only thing consistent was that I was consistently shitty.

Sure I was still getting a few random make-outs here and there, and a few numbers, but internally I felt all this anxiety and tension and  desperation. My standards had gone up so a random make-out with a 7 after a night of rejection wasn't enough for me to enjoy myself.

I had been fueling my fun largely on the positive reactions I was getting from girls. As I got better, like any drug, I needed more to feel the high, so it took more and more results to have fun, which made it less and less frequent that I had fun.


Taking a Step Back to Re-Learn

Lucky for me, I got a rash on my genitals!!!!

Seriously though. I'm out of the game for a while until this shit heals up. I can't have sex. Best thing that ever happened for my game!

At first, since I had been going through a rough patch, I thought I would just take the time off from game. Just step away from it for a month or so and once I'm healed up, come back in fresh. Well that lasted one weekend. I played lots of video games. I got soooo bored.

I was in a bit of a paradox, because I hadn't been enjoying going out lately, but when I stopped, I missed going out so badly.

So then I decided to go back to the basics. Back to the early days when I lived far away and didn't expect to get laid anyway. Back to just having fun.

I started that last weekend. So far it's been three nights of just having fun. Doing stupid shit, acting stupid, not giving a fuck because I'm not going to have sex anyway.

And so far, three nights in a row, based on not giving a fuck, I've stumbled across consistency. I've made out with random girls all three nights. More importantly, I've enjoyed all three nights. I've woken up each morning feeling the lingering high of an awesome night out.


My Process

I'm going to hold onto this. If I were to try to develop and map out my own process, similar to how each of the RSD instructors have processes, step 1 of each night would be to self-amuse. Once you get started it will carry through the night.

Focus on getting your emotions in check first. Once you're enjoying yourself, you're ready to do game. In fact, since you're in such a good mood, you probably already started doing game without even thinking about it.

Periodically throughout the night, the tempo may drop and you may find yourself in a slow or boring set, or just standing around doing nothing. Don't ask yourself what happened to your fun vibe. Don't ask yourself why isn't the night going as well anymore.

Instead, realize that you are bored, and ask yourself, "What can I do to start amusing myself again?"


Videos with Awesome Ideas of How to Have Fun


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